SOS

Weight: 313.2
Total Weight loss: 36.8 pounds

Oh, yikes.

I don't know what's up with me lately. I keep making these big declarations about how I need to get back on track, how I really want to lose more weight, how scared I am to be backsliding so much in the past month, yet it's not getting any better.

This really, really sucks. I want to say that I don't know what to do, even though I clearly do since I have done it before! I can blame it on PMS, or being depressed about my stepfather's death, but the reality is that I have been letting my compulsive overeating impulses take over again, full stop.

Look, I really don't want to have a repeat performance of so many times before. Especially the last time I lost weight. It's starting to become a mirror image of that, and I don't want that to happen! I want to be successful at this. I want to do good for myself.

The one saving grace in all this is that I have continued with my regular exercising, even though that has been a bit rough, too. On Saturday I went out for a very slow walk, slow only because my shins were really bothering me again. So frustrating to want to do one thing and have your body allow another. Yesterday we raked leaves for about a half hour, and I am feeling it this morning -- lots of muscles who have been neglected for too long! I took a break this morning from walking with the hopes that tomorrow's workout will be back to normal. I desperately need it to be. Another good habit I've been keeping up (at least on weekdays) is water intake -- I've been averaging 100 oz. a day, and I will continue that.

This morning I packed my lunch, some of the pumpkin black bean soup I made over the weekend, and a nice salad. I'm having tea and yogurt for breakfast. I'm going to track again this week and be brutally honest with myself.

So now my goal is simple: to get back down in my "safe" zone (between 300-305) by Thanksgiving, and stay there -- even after the holiday! That gives me 2-1/2 weeks to lose almost ten pounds, which I know sounds drastic, but given that the weight came on so quickly, I have a feeling it will come off quickly as well, assuming that I stick to plan diligently. That's what's been missing from my campaign: Diligence.

Thanks again for the continued, wonderful, supportive comments. Please, in the next couple weeks especially -- keep 'em coming! It helps so much to keep my head on straight and is a major reason why I am not crying about this. It's because you help me to continue to believe that I can do this, no matter how many setbacks I have.