Back, begrudgingly?

Weight: 310.6
Total Weight loss: 39.4 pounds

Yesterday I weighed in at 310.2, so today was essentially a maintain. Either way, better than the 312 I started at on Monday.

Admittedly, I really haven't been trying very hard. Well, not really trying at all, to be honest. I don't know. It feels like the embers are burning low, but it could just be a temporary funk, too. I'm not writing myself off completely or anything... how did my 305 turn into 310, though? Now I'm happy to stay at or below 310?

For now, today at least, yes. Lately I have been feeling like eating whatever the heck I want, and I have been. I also have not been exercising. My month-long gym membership is quickly going to waste, and I am not sure I care. Though I have been craving a walk around the neighborhood, admittedly -- maybe even a jog. But the mornings are just not happening like they used to, since winter hit. It's nearly impossible for me to get out of bed when the alarm goes off, even if I have gotten a good eight hours (or more!) in.

I'm not expecting anyone to say anything yea or nay, I just wanted check in and it's turned into a little pity party. Well. Not really, I'm not doing any self-pitying. Just laying out the facts as they are now.

The funny thing is, I feel really good about myself lately, too. I might be fat, but I am not some schlub. On the contrary. I'm not sure where this is coming from.

I do know that I never want to be as heavy as I was, ever again. That was just plain uncomfortable. So I need to figure out striking a balance in this thing.

Stuff to think on.