MIA

Weight: 327.8
Total weight loss: 22.2

Oh, how I have missed checking in here! I shall not let so much time go by between posts again.

It's been a crazy past few days. I've been dealing with some things that were fairly stressful – a super long period (ten days, plus another day of spotting to boot!), and a potential job change. (I got the job, accepted the job, got a counter offer from my beloved current job, and now I am staying put again... long story, but man! It took a toll on me, good news or no.)

As far as my eating has been going, well, it's still going. Let me just say that I am trying really hard. Kind of. Let me put it this way: I'm still tracking my food and still trying to eat right, but it's been really hard lately for whatever reason, despite my best visualizing about the future and all those cute clothes I bought and won't be able to wear for a quite a while, as long as I keep working on this...

I mean, things are going really well, but it's still been stressful. I've come to the conclusion that stress is a big factor to weight gain (I know, that's not really news to anyone, in fact I think I even read it somewhere!). As you can see above, I've gained a few pounds, going from my lowest low on March 10 (323.2), up a bit, then down a bit, then up, up, up... today I was down again, slightly, and thank goodness.

It's not that I am doing anything differently for this to happen, not that I can think of, anyway. I have a feeling that mixed-up period wreaked some havoc on my body there for a while, but it doesn't make me feel much better. OK, so tonight I had a kind of binge. I didn't eat dinner, I didn't feel like it, and instead I over snacked on weird stuff: Rice Krispies, Girl Scout Cookies, microwave popcorn. It's so stupid. While I was walking to the kitchen to get more cookies, in fact, the thought crossed my mind about the cute clothes I have in bags upstairs, waiting for their turn to adorn my gorgeous body, but I just kept on going anyway. Cookie propulsion.

The truth is, I shouldn't have yummy snacks like Girl Scout cookies and big candy bars in the house to begin with. It's just kind of stupid and asking myself for a reason to make a bad choice. I should have known this before, I DO know this, but... oh hell, this is a learning process. A RE-learning process. I'm learning that snacks like that have no place in my cupboard. Buying extras serves no purpose but to sabotage my efforts.

I mean, look. I still believe that no food is off-limits. But why should I make it so easy for myself to shove that crap in my mouth? Aren't I trying to eat more healthfully in addition to losing weight? Isn't it a better idea to have a piece of fruit or even a pudding cup than a candy bar or a Girl Scout cookie, whether I am fat or not?

Yes, I am having a hard time, but don't you go thinking I am washed up just yet. This may have turned out to be a semi-tough month, but I still have over two weeks to meet my monthly goal. Look what happened in February: almost the same thing but for different reasons, and the weight ended up still coming off.

Why? Because, dude. I didn't give up.

Yours in background checks and fingerprints,

r.