Walk the walk

Weight: 327.2
Total weight loss: 22.8 pounds
Total money saved: $143 ($82)

I felt really good today, and though it sounds totally ridiculous coming out of the mouth of a morbidly obese person, I feel lean. I know, hilarious, right? But I am still creeping downward on the scale (I reset it today, and it's working fine now, in case you were wondering), and I feel so proud of myself for what I am doing. This has always been such a difficult issue for me, and to realize the power of science, visualization and happy thoughts is awesome indeed. And today, I don't know. I just feel good. Who needs a reason why?

One thing that I have always been very conscious of is how I carry myself, especially as a very fat person. For me, it is important to walk tall and proud, chin up (though not too up, that would look silly), take strides and not shuffles, don't swing the arms too much, hips forward, tummy in, chest out... OK, OK, maybe not that extreme, but you get the idea. Fat or thin, I really can't stand how slovenly people are willing to look when they are out in public nowadays. (Yeah, yeah, OK, so I should stop wearing those brown corduroys that are always falling off my ass now, I know.) Sorry, but I am totally against sweats and slippers, even if it is just to the grocery store. I would totally love it if we went back to the formalism of say, the 40s, the 50s, even the early-mid 60s when ladies wore gloves and men wore hats. Sure, I love being able to get ready in five minutes flat if I need to, but all that sloppiness trickles down into the rest of our lives and makes us, well, sloppy. And blah.

That's no way to live, I don't think. OK, I pledge never to wear the brown corduroys in public again, *pinky swear*. What are you going to do?

PS I totally wanted to binge when I got home today, but I kept it to a minimum once again. I guess the PMS is really hitting me with cravings this month! Then, once I start eating I realize it's not as great as I made it out in my head, and reason returns. It's nice that it has been working that way so far.

PSS Today I remembered that the last time I lost a fair chunk of weight (60 pounds), I petered out in my efforts after about six months. So, I have another goal: to NOT throw in the towel so easily. In quantifiable terms, to surpass six months and still be going strong. I'm entering my third month now and with my resources in place I don't see myself giving up like that again. No sir. I am completely and utterly determined to do this and make it to the very end. You wait and see.

A Penny Saved

OK, the money saved thing? That first number up there is the total I now have in my savings account. $82 is in there through my weight loss efforts, and the rest is bonus funds which I will add to when I can. My object is to save at least $1000 for my emergency fund so that I never have to rely on credit cards in emergency situations again, like when I had to get my car worked on a few months ago and got approved somehow for a Goodyear card. Once you've committed to a debt-free life, the first step in that Dave Ramsay thing is to accumulate $1000 in emergency funds. So this will be a great way to achieve that. And honestly? The weight loss trip has far overtaken the personal financial success trip in my efforts, I admit it. Have I still been writing down everything I buy? Yes. Have I done anything with the data? No. Have I been reading the lesson material over at my online budgeting class? Yes. Have I been doing the hard work I need to do on it? Well, no.

So far I have caught up on my household bills totally. Gas? Check. Electric? Check. Water? Check. Cable? Check. Mortgage? Check. That is an achievement in itself, at least for me. But I still have so much to repair. I need to get caught up on old debts now and really make an effort to get them out of the way, or at least current. (Yes, current's good, because then I can start Ramsay's snowballing trick.)

But, I don't know... I am scared. I am always so scared about my finances. I just need to buck up, face the music, get to work. It helps to write it out here, but that's only getting halfway. Now I have to take some action... this is a checking-in to say, girl, you have to walk that walk.