Blergh.

Weight: 313.4
Total Weight loss: 36.6

Yikes. It turns out I actually am sick. By the time I got home from work last night, I felt like total crap. I'm very stuffed up, and fortunately Zicam does wonders for that, and and Advil substitute takes care of my aches. But ugh! How lame to get this kind of sick in the middle of summer, right? I was really looking forward to getting back into my running routine, but I'm going to hold off until next week. And I probably won't get my new sneakers until this weekend, which is fine, but this whole thing really bums me out, you know?

Well, I'm down a half pound-ish from my big gain yesterday. This is good, but man! I just knew that big loss was too good to be true, or just a result of the NYC craziness. Never mind, though. It'll come back down, just like it always does, and soon I will be totally back on track and headed down into the 200s.

I'm in a bit of a funk, sort of feeling like I just don't look any different, that I will never lose the double chin and rolls, and all of that. I'm usually very upbeat and optimistic about this stuff, all this work I'm doing, and I feel great, but... today? I'm feeling quite low about my efforts. It's probably just because life was so crazy there while on vacation, and getting back into some semblance of "normal" (whatever that means), but still. I have to admit: I am really, really upset about getting down to 307 and change, and then having it come back up to 313. I really am.

Not that I am giving up or falling off the proverbial horse, don't worry about that. I've felt this way before, way back when, and came through just fine. I will this time, too. I'm glad to have a place where I can publicly talk about this stuff, purge it from my psyche and pass it on into the ether of the internet.

Coaching self to regular self: "It's OK to feel down. You're sick, not feeling well and it's totally normal. It doesn't mean that you aren't succeeding. This is but a small bump in the road, a mere flicker in the flame. Go ahead, feel bad today, but work on getting better, feed your body with vitamins from healthy foods and lots of water, and ride it out. You're doing fine!"

*pats self on the head*

How to gain five pounds overnight

Weight: 313.8
Total Weight loss: 36.2

Wow, how about that? Birthday cake, or what?

Well. I'm honestly not too worried. When I entered my data at Physics Diet, I saw on my chart that just like clockwork, I had my monthly peak. Evey single month this happen; it's pretty amazing, really. It's not a TOM thing, as I had my period last week before I left for New York. It just is, but I am glad to know it. If it wasn't for the daily weigh, I wouldn't know this about my body and I'd probably be freaking out.

Anyway, if all goes according to history, I should be back down minus even more in just a few days.

I feel like total crap today, physically and emotionally. My stepdad is not doing too well (the cancer is now "progressing", they've been told), and I think it was a big mistake to finish off those chicken wings and blue cheese dressing last night that had been sitting out all day and the night before on the counter. I definitely have some mild food poisoning going on, for sure. Stupid. Also, last night I had the worst night's sleep I've had in a long time. Total. Crap.

I'll be drinking lots of water today, and I don't know what. No wonder my body's holding onto some weight today, poor thing.

Ouch.