Thursday, June 19, 2008

PMS Strikes Again!

I should know better. I've been feeling a little bit down about my efforts lately, feeling like I am getting nowhere with any of this, and today I finally pulled my head out of my a$$ and realized that it's PMS time again! That almost always brings overall feelings of malaise and personal failure in ALL aspects of my life -- relationship, finances, work, art, and you guessed it! My health and fitness.

Just wait. In a few days this will pass over and I will be back to my usual optimistic, gung-ho self who is able to see quite clearly all the positive things I am doing for myself and the subsequent results. I just have to ride through this, wait it out, try to be as kind to myself as I can in the meantime. Which is why I took down the photo I posted yesterday. It didn't portray a positive image at all. Not just because I am fat (duh!), but because I was caught with a weird, unhappy-looking expression on my face, and I was kind of slumped, and... as was commented upon, I don't need to punish myself. I don't need to put myself up for inspection and criticism in that way. (Though I may want to reconsider my posture!)

I did have a small NSV this morning -- more pants! Two pairs of capris that I haven't been able to wear in about four years, and even then they were on the tight side. Today, I was able to zip and button each with no problem, though I think I will probably hold off on wearing them for another ten pounds or so, when they will be more comfortable and fit better. Both are size 24 from Lane Bryant stores; as I have mentioned in the past I can already fit well into Old Navy 24s, so I guess 22s in that brand must not be too far away at this point.

It looks like I will probably not see 305 until next week or even the week after that, which is fine. I seem to be holding at right around 308-309 for now, I get the sense that my body is making an adjustment. And hey, I never did celebrate the fact that I am now below 310, which was the weight at which I started losing in my last big effort seven years ago! In the next 30 pounds I will really start to see a big difference in my face, which I am really excited about. I don't want to hate on myself, but dude? I really don't like my double chin, and how I become such a moon face when I am heavy.

To make up for that, here are some things I do like about my appearance right now:
• Lovely long hair (needs a shaping or a trim, but I still love it)
• Smile
• Strong legs!

OK, so that's only three things -- I was hoping for more -- but it is better than nothing. This is something I will work on. How about you? What's your list look like today?


Kitzzy said...

You sound pretty optimistic to me even when you are done :) Good job on being under 310!

Elaine said...

I discovered this week that I actually have noticeable arm muscles! Plus I did way better in a couple of super-tricky poses in my yoga class on Monday, and my hair is being really nice. New shampoo: softer, smoother, nicer wave. :)

Ruthie said...

urg.. pms really stinks. I there with ya..
I am so inspired by your progress.. 40lbs is a huge accomplishment!

Love your blog!
Keep on trucking :)


Ruthie said...

I just realized you couldnt view my blog.
I dont keep it public. but i will share it with you :)
(fantastically fit by 40)


Michelle said...

Ack! PMS attacks again! Congrats on getting back into those capris :)

Cammy said...

That's the spirit! Just lash yourself to the nearest secure object and ride out the storm. :)

And a big YAAAY to more pants!