Friday, May 30, 2008

Scaleless, but running!

No weigh-in again today. The battery in my scale, which was supposed to be a lifetime battery, has died. I called the company (Homedics, by the way -- I don't exactly recommend their scales; I should've got a Tanita), and they are shipping me a free replacement, but really? Shouldn't the battery have just NOT died in the first place?

Anyway. It's been odd not weighing in every day. I feel rather reckless because of it, having nothing to answer to for myself each day. A daily weigh really, really helps me stay on track, I've now realized. It's so easy to just eat whatever when you know you don't have to see a number the next day. Not that I've been totally off track, but just a bit more... loose, maybe? It makes me feel funny. I prefer the daily weigh to anything else, hands down, now that it is not an emotional act but merely data collection. It's sad to think I'll have like a week's worth of data out the window.

That said, I do have good news: on my walk this morning, I decided that I just couldn't wait any longer, I had to try a run again. I started out tentatively at almost a shuffle, and when I realized that the knee was doing OK, I gradually increased my pace. Let me tell you, it was the best run I ever had, and I was able to go a full 30 minutes with no problems whatsoever. It felt GOOD! No struggle, no constant time-watching except to see where I was at certain geographic points. Ah, so good to be back to running. I missed it so much.

So I have made an executive decision that I will continue on C25K, picking up with Week 9, which is all 30-minute runs. Of course, by my third run I won't be anywhere near 3.1 miles in 30 minutes, so from there on out my goal will be to increase my time by three- to five-minute increments each week, and trying to up my pace a bit each time until I do run 3.1 in one go.


On another note, today's my last day of work before vacation, and then I will be off for 10 days (including weekends). I can't wait to get out of here today, so I guess I'd better get back to business and get all my stuff done! ;)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Tired, but thoughtful

No weigh-in today: scale seems to be malfunctioning, alas!

I took a break from exercise this morning. Even though I had gone to bed at a reasonable hour last night, I had so much trouble waking up -- I just felt totally exhausted., and ended up staying bed until after 8am! Usually I am out the door to work by then. It's probably because it's TOM week; in fact I have no doubt that's what my problem is. Besides, it's good to let your body rest once in a while, so I'm going to be forgiving of myself. I did treat myself to a short walk to the PO boxes down the road from my office this afternoon, though. It's a cool, sunny, beautiful day, so while short, it was a refreshing, restorative activity.

I did eat nice and "clean" yesterday, and so far today. It feels really good.

It's funny how some people call it "eating clean". Of course it sounds like a recovering alcoholic or drug user, but it's really not such a stretch, as we all know. What I have always thought is that it's harder to have food problems because you have to eat, you can't just give it up cold turkey, or avoid it completely. But I was thinking earlier, it is better in the sense that if you have a day of missing the mark, it's not all that difficult to get back into your healthy routine. It wouldn't necessarily require a trip to rehab again, or whatever. I feel fortunate that is the case. Too often I have felt a slave to food, totally out of control and unable to regulate its intake, or plain just impossible to have a normal relationship with it.

Thankfully, those days are getting fewer and farther between. One of my biggest goals in this has been to just normalize my feelings about food, and to stop using food as a source of comfort, or as a reward or anything else. I have stopped demonizing certain foods as well as my behavior associated with food, i.e. I don't beat myself up anymore if I make a less healthy choice.

It's going to be a long journey, which I totally, completely, undeniably accept now. It takes time to fix what has long been broken, but I assure myself it can be done, with perserverence, desire, and hard work -- oh, and a little fun mixed in there, too. Rather than only changing my appearance, I am changing my whole being. I think that is the key. Superficial changes are destined to be fleeting, but the deeper you dig, the more complete the transformation will be. Mind, body, spirit.

This day of rest is in honor and appreciation of all these wonderful changes.

Thanks to all of you who are there to share them with me.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

HYC Check-In: A Mixed Bag Weekend

Weight: 313.0
Total Weight loss: 37 pounds

Ah, it's nice to be back to a regular schedule. It's funny to hear myself say that, but it's true. I really should get used to a little lack of structure since I do have some vacation coming up -- 10 days' worth! Wow! How ever will I manage?

Back to this past weekend for now. It was good, it was bad, it was ugly. In the end it was good, but not before I went through all sorts of weird and crappy stuff first.

On Friday, I went to an old (we're talking 1st grade through 12th grade old) friend's mother's wake. I wasn't looking forward to it really, and I had no idea what it would be like to see someone I used to spend so much time with after so, so many years -- like twenty! Well, it turned out great, funny enough. I reconnected with a couple friends, it wasn't weird at all. In fact, my mom, who went with me, commented that it was as if no time had passed at all when it came to how my friends and I interacted.

So that was a good experience, but I wasn't able to eat a decent dinner. I think I had some popcorn or something when I got home.

*GOOD* Weigh-in on Saturday showed me at a jaw-dropping 310.8 pounds!

*BAD* I didn't really eat well at all for the whole weekend.

*GOOD* I got a lot done -- cleaned the garage and did yardwork, spent time with family

*BAD* Fought almost non-stop with C. for a good portion of the weekend.

*GOOD* We made up and hopefully came up with a way to get along better in general.

*BAD* I didn't feel like cooking at all, and just sort of stopped caring about what I was eating.

So yeah, that 310 on the scale was awesome, but I also feel like it was a bit of a fluke anyway. I've had dips like that before. Usually I will come back up again the next day, but then lose back down to the dip weight in a few days. It looks like that's happening again this time, which is fine. I truly do not stress out about weight fluctuation anymore, because I know my body's way of doing things now. I just go with the flow.

I didn't exercise in the traditional sense at all this weekend, however I did spend a good six solid hours doing chores on Sunday, and believe me, it was exercise in the truest sense of the word. I did a little bit yesterday as well, but today I was back out first thing at 6:15am, headed out for a nice walk. The joke's on me! It turns out that my fast walk (which I never really tested fully before) pace is a good one minute faster than my "run" pace! I'm laughing all the way to the bank, just hilarious. My knee was able to take that, no problem, so I will continue doing these walks until I get back from my NYC trip the second week of June. Then I will do some test runs to see how my knee feels. I don't want to jump the gun and try too soon, and in the meantime this walking business will surely continue improving my cardio and endurance. I did just over two miles today with no problem, and sweated profusely. Thumbs up.

It feels great to be back to normal again. Both C. and I were saying last night (as we stuffed ourselves with Pizza Hut) that we feel so gross and are looking forward to eating healthy on a regular basis again. We miss our veggies! Aw. Tonight's dinner will be BBQ chicken and roasted veggies, yum.

This week I plan to walk or ride my bike each morning, and do some strength training every other day. It'd be great to get down below 310 this week, just for the fun of it!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Bike Accident

Weight: 313.4
Total Weight loss: 36.6 pounds

Plus: I rode my bike today, just about 2.5 miles. I did much better this time than on my last ride, yay! Also, my knee didn't hurt at all while riding, which is great. And wow, could I ever feel those quads getting a workout. They felt tough, man.

Minus: I had a little accident. Toward the end of my ride, I was turning right onto my street, and a van was turning onto the street I was coming off of, coming from the direction I was headed. He didn't have his blinker on, so I figured that he was going straight, and when he ended up turning as I was turning, (it almost seemed like he was thisclose to hitting me), it startled me and I fell off my bike! The kicker was that the jerk didn't even stop to see if I was OK; he slowed down a little and I could hear him say, "Holy shit! Are you OK?" but then just keep going without waiting to get an answer or help me up or whatever. GOD.

I was fine, but still. WTF? F&%$er.

The ride took me just over 20 minutes, and I felt like I got some good cardio stuff done. I do enjoy bike riding, but it is in no way near half as great as running is to me. There's just something about propelling yourself, getting somewhere only by the sheer force of your own flesh and bones that is so exciting, I think. Ah well, soon enough I'll be back to it, stronger and fitter than ever. My knee does feel much better today, so far.

I feel really snacky today. I probably won't have much of a dinner, if any due to rushing off after work to attend a wake in my hometown (which is over an hour away from where we live now), so I guess it'll work out. I'm not too worried about it, what with all the gardening activities I have planned this weekend!

I have a lot of running around to do this evening and tomorrow, so I likely won't be checking in until Sunday or Monday. I hope you have a great weekend! (Us Statesiders get a nice three-day weekend, awesome!)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Oh, Woe is Knee!

Weight: 313
Total Weight loss: 37 pounds

What a strange day. Strange night? I ended up going to bed at 8:30 last night, and slept until about 6:30 this morning! Wow! I guess I needed the rest.

Well, that gave me some extra time this morning, as I didn't have to leave the house until shortly after 8:30. I planned to get to work a little late in order to get another vitamin B12 shot at the doctor's at 8:45. I was still feeling miffed about my knee and not really knowing what to do. I said to C., "I'll go for a bike ride." He was like, "But it's wet outside! And you should rest your knee."

"What should I do then?"

"What about sit ups and push ups?"

"Aha. Yes, and I can so some strengthening exercises for my leg muscles."

So, that's what I did. I got on the internets for a minute to find some exercises, printed them out, and did them. It took about 20 minutes, and when I felt satisfied with my efforts, I started to clean the wall-to-wall carpeting by hand. With our four cats, the vacuum doesn't do much help in sucking the fur up. Well, it's just a sucky vacuum period, so the carpet tends to be neglected upstairs. We have wood floors everywhere else.

Anyway, so I was on my hands and knees whisking up all the fur from about half the upstairs area, and the stairs. A whole nother animal came out of that, and I also got a pretty decent workout that lasted about 30 minutes. Housework: the original hardcore workout. I also ended up sweeping a bit downstairs, because once I start cleaning, it's hard for me to stop.

I'm still really sad about my knee, like REALLY sad. I was doing so well, and so close to finishing Couch to 5K! Oh, the humanity! Really upset.

Can you tell, I'm really upset? Yep.


I want my knee back.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Ack! Missed HYC Check-in :(

Weight: 314
Total Weight loss: 36 pounds

I totally spaced yesterday on the Healthy You Challenge check-in! Shame on me.

The weight's still coming off, slowly but surely.

The running was great this morning, but not great. Based on my research, I think I have a classic case of runner's knee. The good news is, it sounds like I can help it by doing strengthening exercises for the muscle groups around the knee, and since I was getting new sneaks soon at a real running store, that could help, too. Sadly, for now, maybe the next week or so, I'll take a break from running and pick up where I left off with just two weeks left of the C25K program. It's such a bummer, but best to nip a problem in the bud before it develops into anything serious. Plus, this will be a good opportunity to start doing strengthening work, and the Pilates I've been meaning to do. I may also try to keep walking, and riding my bike. So all is not lost. I guess.

Damn, I love running. Today's run was so, so good up until the 20 minute mark, when my knee just went JAB! and bam, that was it. I was able to walk home OK, and in fact kept up my running pace as a walk! Haha. I think that means that I need to up the ante a bit in my running efforts once I start back in again.Today, I seriously felt so good out there that I could have run for an hour and been OK.

Gotta roll with it, baby. I'm not deterred, not in the least.Just a little miffed.

Monday, May 19, 2008


Weight: 315
Total Weight loss: 35 pounds

I guess it was a busy weekend! Nary a post to be seen from this gal.

There's a lot to say, but I will just summarize quickly with the hopes of more details later.

• Dr.'s appointment went well. My numbers are good, except for high triglycerides and low vitamin B-12. I'm getting injections for B-12 and have been given a prescription for some cholesterol medicine (though hopefully that number will go down as I continue to eat more healthfully and lose weight, but the doc just wanted to be more proactive about getting the number down. 245, btw, pretty high.

• The scale reading showed 312 on Saturday! *gasp* Didn't last, though. 314 on Sunday, 315 again today. I'm still happy. I don't know where that big drop came from, as I didn't do anything drastically different. Nor over the weekend to cause a gain, so I think it's just funny body adjustments going on. No big deal. It was fun to see such a low number so unexpectedly, though! :)

• The weather was crappy all weekend, and I actually ran in some drizzle on Saturday morning. It was a 25-minute run, but I ended up doing 28 minutes, just because it felt good. Unfortunately, as soon as I started walking into my cool-down, my right knee got a sharp pain, something I haven't experienced before. I iced it a bit, and laid off any leggy exercise since then. It's been OK, but still occasionally hurts. I plan to do my next run tomorrow, but I hope it goes OK... I really, really don't want an injury that will preclude my training! No no no! *fingers crossed*

Your advice on this is welcome.

• We rearranged the bedroom yesterday evening, on a whim. I didn't think it was going to work, but holy cow did it make the room so much nicer. I still have some junk to put away in the attic, and I need to get some nicer window treatments, but !!! Love. Also, it was a good workout. Not just moving the bed, but also cleaning the room, and finally removing the ugly curtain rods and mini-blinds that were in the windows... not as easy a task as one might think. Nay, I sweated and toiled. It was good.

Too bad that our new bed (well, we bought it new last summer when we moved) just really does not "go" in the room. It is my fault -- C. wanted to get another one that I also liked, but I thought I liked this one more and so that was the one we got. From now on? Trust C.'s judgement about such things.

So there you have it, in a nutshell. A good weekend! It's Monday, but I don't mind. This coming weekend is a long one (Memorial Day here in the States), and the weekend after that marks the beginning of a fabulous11 days off! I can't wait. I really need a vacation.

Friday, May 16, 2008

35 pounds down, 10% of my body weight

Weight: 315.0
Total Weight loss: 35 pounds

Quick, quick! The header says it all. I'm psyched that I finally reached this double milestone. The next one is just five pounds away. 310 pounds is where I started the last time I lost a significant amount of weight, about sixty pounds five years ago. Sadly, I gained it all back plus forty pounds.

I biggest wish is that I don't make the same mistakes that I have made in the past, this time. I am very determined NOT to let that happen.

My next big NSV I am shooting for is continuing my efforts beyond six months, then eight months. I think at six months last time, I started petering out, not being as mindful or diligent. After about eight months, it was being thrown out the window, pretty much.

Last time, the only goal I had was to make the number on the scale go down. This time, I have running on my side, not to mention the real threat of getting older and less able to spring back from illness. Now, I want to try training for a marathon. I want to be better equipped to fight off whatever comes at me, health-wise. I want to give myself the chance to live a long, quality life. The number on the scale is not the priority, and I think that will make all the difference in my chance for success.

It's Friday, and it's a good day.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Back to Where I Started

Weight: 315.4
Total Weight loss: 34.6

Well, OK. I'm back to where I was before this past weekend. It took me most of the week to make up for the damage I did on Sunday. Oh well, at least it was pretty painless. Now that I am not in a race to lose weight this is really inconsequential, though rest assured that I am very happy that I have been able to bounce back from these indiscretions. See, I can have a life and be healthy. What a concept!

I'd just like to tell you something: take away your "due date" on your weight loss. Since I stopped expecting myself to lose 10 pounds a month, and being disappointed if I lost "only", say, seven pounds or five pounds, I've found myself so much happier. And doing all the things I am doing for myself seem so much more valuable somehow. All because I took away what was chalked up to be an unreasonable deadline. Now, as long as I see the trend line going in the downward direction (see on my chart, I am happy, no matter how long it takes to lose the weight I want to lose.

Would I like to be finished losing what I'd like by my 40th birthday? Yes! But, what's more important is keeping up the habits I've developed -- eating more healthy foods than junk, running and other exercise, cultivating a more loving attitude toward myself -- and feeling better overall.

I've honestly never felt quite like this before. It's a huge thing, a real breakthrough.

I had a great run this morning, Week 7, Day 2 of Couch to 5K. It's another 25 minute straight run. I'm pleased to say that my speed has increased to 3.24 mph, just over a 17-minute mile pace. I also covered just over two miles total this morning, including my warm up and cool down walks. Definitely still making substantial progress. It certainly wasn't without struggle, and I continue to talk my way through at spots, but hey! That's what it's all about. That constant challenge to get better. I am so into it.

This afternoon I have my follow-up doctor's appointment. I'll get the results of my bloodwork and my EKG and heart holter tests, and see how I am holding up. I'm really interested (but slightly scared) to see what my cholesterol levels are, especially, and whether I am borderline diabetic or anything. Who'd have ever thought that I'd be excited to go see a doctor? Ha ha!

Also, so far today I've only had to eat fruits and vegetables, along with some yogurt. It feels pretty nice! I can practically hear my body saying, "Ahhhhhhhhh! That's nice!!!"

Yep, feeling the self-love today, big time. Hope you are, too.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Healthy You Challenge Check-In

Weight: 316.8
Total Weight loss: 33.2

This entry'll be a quickie.

I'm back down again after my weekend mishap, almost to where I was, which goes to show how much body weight does fluctuate each day, and why I don't freak out about it when it happens anymore. (Please do not confuse this with complacency, however.)

It was all take-out eating yesterday, but I managed easily to stay within my ranges comfortably. I drank a ton of water (as I am doing again today). This morning I had my first 25-minute straight run, and I completed it successfully and didn't even keel over afterward (nay, I rushed to to enter my stats!). This is a big milestone. Now I feel like a real runner.

I'm feeling good today. I had a nice lunch out with an old classmate at Panera Bread, and successfully maneuvered my way through the menu to enjoy a 1/2 Roast Beef Asiago sandwich and a yummy bowl of Black Bean soup, not to mention lovely catch-up conversation -- I hadn't seen Carollan in probably a year!

It's a gorgeous day outside, so hopefully this evening I can (as my mom puts it) play in the yard and get a bunch of things done.

Hope you're having a wonderful day. There's always another one coming up, if not! :)

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mother's Day Bust

Weight: 319.4
Total Weight loss: 30.6

Ah well, I put on four pounds since Saturday, most of it since yesterday. I am OK about it, though; I was really expecting it and already had the conversation with myself about how to handle it and that I was just going to keep on keeping on, nothing new. It's a blip.

This is a process.

It's not to say that I am happy about it, but a) I had a great time at my mom's yesterday and b) I know it is not real fat, but probably some water (I feel the bloat), and c) LIFE! We live life, and this is life. Finally, d) it's how you respond to things that is important.

I am responding to this by eating fairly light today, drinking lots of water, and looking forward to a nice run tomorrow. That should put me right back on track, no problem.

There, *poof*!

On Saturday I weighed in at 315.4, my lowest weight yet. Very nice. I also had a fabulous run, which was the first of many straight runs (no walking) that I will be doing in my lifetime. It was supposed to be a 25-minute run on C25K (Week 6, Day 3 for those keeping score), but due to some bad math in my head, I ended up only doing 22. I could have done the full 25; I was feeling very good and had more run in me. I was pretty pissed when I realized I added up the turnaround point incorrectly in my brain and didn't put two and two together until after I started my cool-down walk. I got over it quickly enough: all this week it's 25-minute runs, so I will have plenty of practice.

And man, I kicked ass on this run! I really had little troubles with keeping myself going. I do a lot of self-coaching which really helps, even up little hills, I'm like, "Yeah, you can do it! All right." That's my mantra.

My across the street neighbor saw me leave for my run and asked how I was doing on my weight loss (I had told him I was snow shoveling for fitness during our last big storm). I told him, and he said, "I can really tell!" So that was an unexpected boost, especially since we usually only see each other from across the street. ;)

Also, C. said that I looked thinner now than I did the last time I weighed about this much. I think it's the running. I'm developing some killer muscles in my thighs for sure.

So, see? Lots of things to feel positive about. A freak four-pound gain has nothing on this girl.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Back to OK

Weight: 315.6
Total Weight loss: 34.4

Today feels better already. Last night I spiraled even further into a funk and went to bed quite depressed, so I was really looking forward to my run this morning.

It was a GREAT run. It had been raining all last evening and into the night, so it was a nice, cool morning and everything was so rich and lush looking -- really ideal running conditions, if you ask me, ~45 degrees F. I took the same route I did last run, which is now my ultimate favorite. It's very, very rare that a car goes by, the scenery is really nice, and it's a quiet neighborhood. Can you tell I am in love? However, I modified it a little to make it a little longer, so I ended up doing just over two miles total today in 41 minutes (this includes warm up and cool down).

So, instead of doing 10 running/3 walking/10 running, I ended up doing 10 running/3 walking/20 running! It's funny, because the first ten minutes was a bit rough (especially the first five), but the second ten was like a dream really. I wasn't looking at the time at all, and it felt really good, so by the time I did check where I was at, I'd already run 17 minutes! So, I figured I would just go for 20. I like round numbers, heh.

I felt like I was running faster than usual, at least in spots where I actually did see if I could up my speed a little comfortably (I could, a bit), but I was actually a little slower overall than my past few runs, but still over 3mph... I guess because of the extra distance? Regardless, I was really proud of myself and looking forward to all the straight runs coming up ahead. And I totally know I can do them!

Ah, so excited about this, it is such an accomplishment for me. From here on out, my runs will be totally straight running, no walking intervals, and I couldn't be more pleased about that.

As for my weight, it's back down, just as I was hoping. I'm definitely getting to know my body better, and what to expect on the scale based on how it feels. Yesterday was definitely a water-weight gain day for sure. Unfortunately because of the rain, I wasn't able to get into the garden like I planned, and instead spent the evening on the computer and *gasp* watching TV, some real junk, too. It's something I don't do often anymore, and because of my mood I was just going to let myself get a little junky. We did have meatball pizza for dinner (a menu for a new place was in our mailbox, and C. really wanted to try it out), but I ate a reasonable amount, fit it in, and didn't use my wallowing mood as as excuse to gorge myself on food. I didn't even think about it, really. It just turned out that way.

Could it be that my brain is changing its habits, finally?

It feels good to be back to OK. I now know that I need to get exercise in each morning, otherwise I just don't feel right in mind, body, and spirit. Who'd have thunk it?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


Weight: 317.4
Total Weight loss: 32.6

Ick, I feel icky today. It's not just the slight weight gain -- which is bloat, I can feel it -- but just blech, you know? I didn't have a run this morning, so I am missing that continuous high throughout the day, and I had lunch out to celebrate a co-worker's birthday. (Lebanese, so a beef shawarma, and some rice pudding, which I thoroughly enjoyed, btw, no regrets.) I'm realizing that the days I don't have exercise in the morning are sort of disappointing, so I guess I need to do something every day. Am I getting addicted to the endorphins? There are worse things, to be sure. I look forward to the time when I will feel safe running almost every day, but for now I am sticking to the C25K plan, so the rest of the month it's three days a week.

Tonight I am having a light dinner, and then I'll be spending time in the gardens some more. I have some plants that my mom gave me from her garden to get into the ground, plus the backyard really needs work, even just weeding and clearing out things for now. Maybe I'll buy a shovel on the way home.

So I think on my off days I'll take the bike out and see how long and far I can go on that.

Blech, bloat and skin feeling stretched out!

Good otherwise.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Healthy You Challenge Check-In: More C25K Success

Weight: 315.6
Total Weight loss: 34.4 pounds

The numbers on the scale continue to decrease, how lovely! I am keeping up drinking a bit more water than I had been, and making a little change each day. Like yesterday, I just had a piece of chicken breast and some roasted asparagus, but no potatoes like I usually do. I have to say, I didn't miss them all that much. The other food was tasty and filling enough. After dinner, I went on a trip to the library, which distracted me from my usual what-sweets-can-I-have-now fix. By the time I got home, I wasn't even thinking about it. So nice to be active in changing habits. And painless, too. I love books almost as much as I love food, after all!

Now, onto my C25K report, for which I know you all have been waiting for with bated breath.

Today was Week 6, Day 1, the 5-3-8-3-5 sequence, and I am happy to say that it went swimmingly!

I have to say that this morning when I woke up I wasn't sure how it was going to work out. I was still full of aches and pains from my gardening spree on Sunday and felt like total crap. But, I figured I'd get up anyway and at least try a run. If I didn't feel well once I started, I could always stop. It was just the opposite, though -- I felt really good once I got going. I am feeling more and more comfortable in my stride, and the breathing continues to improve. My pace is still around 18:30, so still really slow, but I felt faster and more carefree than ever before. I ended up running 1.7 miles in 32 minutes, which has been pretty typical for me in the past couple weeks, but I took a different route today that included some small hills, so I am probably doing even better than that.

I am not too worried about my speed still. It would be really nice to be able to run a 5K in less than 45 minutes, but I don't know how long it's going to take me to achieve that. At this point, my main goal is to be able to run for 30 minutes straight. Next would be to run 2 miles straight (no matter how much time it takes), then 2.5, then 5K. Finally, a 5K in 45 minutes. After that, just continuing to improve my speed. I am continuing to lose weight so I know that will help, too. I'm sure that a 275-pound me could run quite a bit faster than 315-pound me (where I am at now), and so on.

I plan to run my first 5K at the end of June. Next year at this time, I want to try for a half marathon. A year after that, a marathon. These goals are really helping me to focus on finishing up this program, and to keep chugging along with my weight loss efforts. Honestly? I think running is my magic bullet. No necessarily because it aids in losing weight (I don't think it really does on its own, though it helps for sure), but because of the mental strength it's given me in these past six weeks. I have no doubt that doing the C25K plan was the thing that really propelled me through my rough patches. It makes me feel like even if the scale's not showing it, I am still making progress toward better overall fitness , and that makes it easy to keep going.

It's not just about the scale anymore, not by a long shot.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Totally Zonked!

Weight: 316.4
Total Weight loss: 33.6

Wow, I am really dragging today.

It was a good weekend, mostly. Saturday was a bit of a whirlwind, as I drove the 45 miles out to my mom's house to see my uncle, who was in town for the weekend, stayed for less than an hour, and drove back home in time to buy some groceries and pizzas for our Derby Day festivities.

I didn't end up getting drunk like I had planned. The bourbon C. bought was way too strong for my tastes these days, and I just couldn't down it, even with some Diet Pepsi splashed in. The Derby was fun to watch, until poor miss Eight Belles was put down after collapsing and breaking both front ankles. I had a good cry over that, and it colored the rest of the evening.

Sunday was good. I ended up working three hours in the yard and gardens, and jumped on my bike a couple times for teeny tiny rides. Wow, I did get a lot done, but I am paying for it today in spades -- every muscle in my body hurts like I haven't hurt since I was shoveling snow back in March. I was having so much fun that I guess I didn't notice how much work I was really doing. I You can imagine that I postponed Week 6 Day 1 of C25K until tomorrow. There was no way I was going to run today.

Happily, I sustained my loss over the weekend despite less than stellar eating habits, as I had planned. I still tracked what I ate, and drank plenty of water, and tried not to eat much once the evenings hit. That strategy seems to be helping a lot, so it's something I am going to continue. Easy, too.

More NSVs this morning: fitting back into old Victoria's Secret cotton undies (size XL), being able to wear a pair of Old Navy cords, size 24, that I don't think I ever had the chance to wear EVER, and wearing an old bra that still has plenty of life left, again something I hadn't been able to wear in a long time (the underwires are digging into my side a bit, though, ouch).

I have a feeling that I will be turning in very early tonight. *YAWN*

Saturday, May 3, 2008

316.4, Wow!

Holy cow. I'm down another pound this morning, which is just excellent. I'm just 1.6 pounds away from losing 10% of my body weight.

I just made some easy adjustments to my plan to get out of my rut. I think what has really helped me get going again was upping the water intake, especially on days when my sodium counts were high (like yesterday), and adding just a little bit more exercise. I didn't really change my eating at all, except to try to keep snacking a bit more at bay (I can get out of control if I don't watch it), and making better choices for sweet snacks -- more fruits instead of little chocolates all the time. Now I just have little chocolates some of the time, but enough to keep me happy. :)

Anyway... I had planned for today to be a treat day. It's the Kentucky Derby and we watch it every year, and we were going to tie one on for once and make some mint juleps and "get happy", and eat pizza or something. Now, I think I will still imbibe, but I am not going to go as crazy as I was going to... what's the point? I can still have fun, enjoy some "naughty" snacks and not do so much damage to my progress.

Hm, maybe this stuff really is sinking in, finally. I'll be back with a full report tomorrow.

And they're off!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Holy crap! 20 minutes straight!

Weight: 317.4
Total Weight loss: 32.6

Once again I was feeling antsy at work and couldn't stop thinking about running. I had come prepared in case I wanted to take a walk or even a short run or something, but once I got out of the office on my lunch break, I thought to myself, "Well, why not see if you can do the 20-minute run and get it out of the way?" So, I did.

It wasn't easy, and it could have been due to a number of factors. The negatives were:
• It's a very unappealing area to run in, a busy industrial office park where there are the teeniest sidewalks and everyone thinks it's hot to speed
• It started to drizzle slightly (not really a big deal, but different than any of my other runs)
• I was running in the middle of the day, not first thing in the morning like I usually do
• My belly was full of lunch, instead of empty after sleeping all night
• I didn't leave a day's rest in between runs, as is recommended by C25K

It felt like my feet were made of lead, but after mapping the run, I was going at about the same pace I have been lately. I had all sorts of complaints throughout the run, and really didn't think I'd make it past 5 minutes. The whole time, I just kept saying, "OK make it to x point, you can do it!" and pick a nearby landmark. It was just that sort of thing, over and over. I resisted looking at the time, too, which helped. I even waved to a truck driver passing by, and he waved back! Ha ha. It's the little things.

But yeah, I had a mantra going there toward the end: "Make it to the tree (or whatever landmark). You can do it. (when I made it to the tree) All right." ad infinitum. It was pretty cool, keeping myself going like that; eventually I did find a groove, but it was never easy. I would say that the traffic issue and no sidewalk made it really difficult to focus and was the single biggest obstacle.

I finished, I finished. I ran about 1-1/3 miles, which included my 5-minute warmup walk, so yes, I am still going spectacularly slow. But I am happy. Plus, I am still losing! I'm getting my period soon, so we'll see what that does to my efforts, but whatever. I'm on a cloud.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

C25K: W5D2

Weight: 318
Total Weight loss: 32 pounds

It was that famous 8 minute run/5 minute walk/8 minute run day. I did it this morning, and SUCCESS.

I figured it would be OK, but one thing I didn't figure is that the walking portion of it would be the hardest! Ha ha! I don't know if it is just that I got into a groove in the first running segment, but it was kind of a bummer going into the walking. My feet felt funny, my stride didn't feel right. So any trepidation I had about Day 3 (the 20 minute run) has disappeared. I don't expect it to be easy peasy or anything, but I think once I get my rhythm going, it'll be good.

So, what's up with teenagers these days? I was running past a small group of them this morning as they waited for their bus, so I said, "Hey, guys!" and all I got were blank stares like I was from another planet, heh. At least they didn't outwardly heckle me. Oh well.

I must say that I am really looking forward to next week -- from day 2 on no more training wheels, that is, no more walking segments! I think then I will really feel like a runner. I know that I probably won't be close to running 3 miles in the prescribed time by "graduation", but after I complete Week 9 I'm just going to work on my endurance, and hopefully my speed will get better and better. The first 5K I'd like to run is at the end of June, and it would be nice to finish it in under 45 minutes. At this point I am running at just over 3 miles an hour, so it'll take a while to get double that.

Lately, I have been surprised by the extra energy I seem to have. Today at work I even took a short, 15-minute brisk walk just because. I would never have done that before. And the whole time I was walking, I kept thinking, "I wish I could run" but I had work clothes on, and it would have been odd. ;)

I am so pleased with my turnaround this past week. I really dug myself out of the rut. I mean, weight is not falling off me but my eating habits are getting better and better, and things are really starting to feel natural. I don't have to think too much about what I need to eat, though I still think that tracking my food is a good idea. I'll probably keep doing that for a long time, but it's OK.

Right now I am actually pretty hungry. Lately I have just been really ravenous during the day, I don't know why. Well, I had a great lunch of leftover salmon, and it was wonderful even cold (I didn't want to stink up the lunchroom at work with fish smell). I wish salmon grew on trees, I tell you. I love, love, love it. Scallops, too, which we also had. It was a bit of a splurge, money-wise, but we usually only have seafood once or twice a week, so it's doable. (I personally would have seafood every day if I could afford it, I love it that much.)

*sigh* I don't know, I am feeling a tad unmotivated in other areas of my life these days. I guess you could say that I am borderline obsessive about this stuff, but I think just because I am so excited about it. It's not in a counterproductive way, or a way that would really make me sound wackadoo... I'm just very focused on these goals right now. Even finances, about which this blog was supposed to include, have fallen to the wayside a bit. Since I paid my car off, I haven't been very actively monitoring my cash flow like I was there for a while. I mean, I do, but in a less organized way. I have utilities under control, and most of my day to day expenses (i.e. I usually make it to the next paycheck), but I am still battling to get caught up with credit card stuff and old debt. It's so hard to see how I can ever, and I know I should really reset my goals for that. But, with my health and fitness concerns taking so much of my time, it's something that I will still try to do my best on, but will have to wait a while before I can devote more time to it. I can't fix everything all at once.

Anyway. Thanks for all the awesome comments -- they really keep me going.