Monday, September 15, 2008

I Don't Know What


I feel like I am totally gone. I don't like it.

I just read a few of my "regular" blogs, realizing that I had been missing out on a lot of updates, which upset me... that hasn't happened at all since I started up in January. It sort of feels like... I am heading down the slippery slope.

I have really not been watching my eating. I have not been walking or running. I haven't been blogging as much as I should. (I did do a lot of housework over the weekend, at least -- it was an all-day workout yesterday!) I forgot to weigh in yesterday and today before eating anything, so I don't even know exactly where I stand on that front. That's dangerous. I couldn't believe it when it happened this morning. There I was, happily munching away on my Cheerios, when it hit me: You haven't weighed yet, dumbass.

However, I will find out tomorrow and report it here. That is my promise to you. And to myself.

I'm definitely sad about all this. I know I have the power to start back again full-on at any time. I don't know why I haven't yet. I will. I WILL! I MUST!

Sorry, I can't help it: I suck.


Kate said...

You don't suck, you've just had a brief setback. Now your setback is OVER if you just get back on track.

I believe in you!

Sherri L said...


You just went through a major personal loss.

I would be kind to yourself. Though you probably realize that getting back on track is the thing that will make you feel better than anything, it makes sense that your routine was shook up.

S. said...

It happens -- it's how you come back from it that matters more -- and you are!

Kitzzy said...

You've been through a lot lately; cut yourself a break. Just get back to it slowly. Maybe C can go on a nice walk with you, so it doesn't even feel like exercise or a bike ride.

Hang in there! You'll be back to it before you know it. *HUGS*

Anonymous said...

It's time you had a break from the guilt. Make the decision not to worry about your weight, exercising and diet for a set period of time and enjoy the break with a clear conscience.

I have lost 40lbs with another 40 to go and decided two weeks ago, having struggled just like you for weeks, to have a conscious break. In fact I am intending to maintain only until after Christmas, but that is my limit. I may go back before then, but I have given myself permission to take that long if I need it. I told everyone what I was doing and relaxed about it. Interestingly some of my new eating habits seem ingrained now, and some of the bad stuff just isn't as much fun as I thought. I am actually exercising just because I want to, when I want to.
I am certain that you will lose the weight in time, and that you can safely allow yourself to take a guilt free break for a set period of time. You may be surprised at the result.

Anonymous said...

Okay sweetie,
First, give yourself a big hug. You are doing great and you are going to keep that up. You have been maintaining and THAT is a major skill.

What you need is just a little shake and to get back on track. It isn't easy but it will feel so so so good. Sometimes for me starting out by designing a perfect day makes me feel better and then just for that day I try to stay the course and at the end of the day you will have created some of your own motivation to get back on track.

Also over at Baby Tea Leaves, she is hosting a hot for the holidays challenge and the group there are really supportive. I will be leaving town and away from email so I can't be part of it but you could check it out if you find that type of motivation helps.

I also TOTALLY agree with people about being easy on yourself emotionally. Don't beat yourself up. At the same time, to get that happy feeling back you need to get moving and eating to support all those nice happy chemicals (I know this is the way it is for me anyway) so in the food and exercise department it is no time to let up too much. Just don't feel guilty about anything you are doing, it is what it is, that is all.

I think you are one of the best examples of inspiration out there. I haven't been running much at all lately and every time I think about you out there running I want to be doing the same (as soon as this virus gets through with me :(

Take care and stay with it. You can DO this!!!!