Weight: 304.6
Total Weight loss: 45.4 pounds
Well, well.
After all those feelings of doubt and discouragement, here I am the next day standing on the scale facing what some folks call a "sinker": down to 304.6! No one is more surprised than I.
It may well be a fluke, and I might end up going back up before I go down again, but I don't mind. I just love seeing that I broke another barrier. I was really hoping to see myself below 305 this week. And now I know that I can get below 300 by the end of the month.
This was just what I needed right now.
And thanks again to those of you who write such wonderful, supportive comments. I really couldn't have made it this far without you, and that is no exaggeration.
Onward and upward! Also, new bling! -- see sidebar. :)
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Hard Time
OK, I admit it: I'm having a hard time.
I made all kinds of declarations and proclamations and I generally sound pretty upbeat and optimistic about what I have been doing. But the real truth is (I say that a lot, don't I? Hey, I'm all about the confessional) that it's been pretty rough going for the past month. I don't feel as if I am focused enough on my goals, my eating has been marginally so-so overall. Sure, I have held my weight steady for the past few weeks, but I can't help but feel like it could all slip away any minute, that all the sudden I could find myself back where I started. Or worse.
Of course it is entirely within my power to prevent that. Last night as we lay down to bed, I said to C., "I can't lose weight!" His response was smart and true. "Of course you can. You have! You can do it."
He's totally right. I have, and I can. It's just hard lately, maybe due to stress, who knows and I find myself wanting to just eat and eat.
I guess when I really think about it, I am not indulging anywhere near the way I used to, hence my relatively stable weight. But it still doesn't feel very good. It feels like my old self, a most unwelcome visitor. It's not really that I totally gorge myself, but the way in which I eat. I'm not really mindful. I enjoy the taste, sure, but after the first few bites it becomes more about getting it into my mouth rather than fully appreciating it. It's almost like hoarding, in a way. I don't know how else to explain it.
Obviously the first step in correcting a behavior is recognizing what's wrong. First and foremost, I need to start prioritizing eating healthier foods most of the time again. We've gotten lazy about cooking the past few weeks and have been relying on take-out more often. I got out of the habit of bringing my lunch to work. Next, I want to reinvest in exercise as a tool to get me into the right mindset to achieve my goals. Just because I took a break from running this week, for example, didn't mean that I had to stop exercise all together. I could have gone on walks, or rode my bike, or started the 100 push-ups/100 sit-ups challenges like I have been planning.
It's so hard to keep your momentum going when outside elements are bringing you way, way down (in this case, it's my stepdad's struggle with cancer), but you know? This is the sort of behavior I have been seeking to overcome in the first place -- emotional eating, probably my biggest problem. I should see about reframing this experience as a challenge to be welcomed, as I did with running, and work it no matter how hard it is. Instead of measuring my progress with time or distance run, I'll be measuring with making it through a day, even a meal, eating mindfully and eating to pleasure and nourish myself -- not reward or comfort.
That is all. I am still here. I have to keep telling myself that is a big accomplishment in itself. I'm not fading away or disappearing in to the ether of dead links and neglected blogs.
I made all kinds of declarations and proclamations and I generally sound pretty upbeat and optimistic about what I have been doing. But the real truth is (I say that a lot, don't I? Hey, I'm all about the confessional) that it's been pretty rough going for the past month. I don't feel as if I am focused enough on my goals, my eating has been marginally so-so overall. Sure, I have held my weight steady for the past few weeks, but I can't help but feel like it could all slip away any minute, that all the sudden I could find myself back where I started. Or worse.
Of course it is entirely within my power to prevent that. Last night as we lay down to bed, I said to C., "I can't lose weight!" His response was smart and true. "Of course you can. You have! You can do it."
He's totally right. I have, and I can. It's just hard lately, maybe due to stress, who knows and I find myself wanting to just eat and eat.
I guess when I really think about it, I am not indulging anywhere near the way I used to, hence my relatively stable weight. But it still doesn't feel very good. It feels like my old self, a most unwelcome visitor. It's not really that I totally gorge myself, but the way in which I eat. I'm not really mindful. I enjoy the taste, sure, but after the first few bites it becomes more about getting it into my mouth rather than fully appreciating it. It's almost like hoarding, in a way. I don't know how else to explain it.
Obviously the first step in correcting a behavior is recognizing what's wrong. First and foremost, I need to start prioritizing eating healthier foods most of the time again. We've gotten lazy about cooking the past few weeks and have been relying on take-out more often. I got out of the habit of bringing my lunch to work. Next, I want to reinvest in exercise as a tool to get me into the right mindset to achieve my goals. Just because I took a break from running this week, for example, didn't mean that I had to stop exercise all together. I could have gone on walks, or rode my bike, or started the 100 push-ups/100 sit-ups challenges like I have been planning.
It's so hard to keep your momentum going when outside elements are bringing you way, way down (in this case, it's my stepdad's struggle with cancer), but you know? This is the sort of behavior I have been seeking to overcome in the first place -- emotional eating, probably my biggest problem. I should see about reframing this experience as a challenge to be welcomed, as I did with running, and work it no matter how hard it is. Instead of measuring my progress with time or distance run, I'll be measuring with making it through a day, even a meal, eating mindfully and eating to pleasure and nourish myself -- not reward or comfort.
That is all. I am still here. I have to keep telling myself that is a big accomplishment in itself. I'm not fading away or disappearing in to the ether of dead links and neglected blogs.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
HYC Check-in: Taking a Step Back
Oops, I'm a day late on check-in, but you know what they say, better late than never!
I'm still here, which is in itself an accomplishment. It's true. After six months of life-changing activity, I am still here and still committed to achieving my goals. Monday was my six monthiversary, btw! It hasn't always been easy, but I have come a long way and can't wait to see what the next six months will bring. I already mapped out what I would like see six months from now, in this post -- I was so excited about it I jumped the gun a bit. I set a weight goal that is attainable by losing just 1.5 pounds a week, which is just about what I have been averaging, but I plan to be happy no matter how much weight I lose by then, as long as I lose something!
Many thanks to those of you who responded to my last post concerning taking a break from running for a week. Just what I needed to hear, some confirmation that my feelings were valid and even wise! Well, I did end up trying a run yesterday morning anyway, and while I did complete the prescribed 1.5 miles, I did have to walk about a third of it. So sluggish! And I had even had a snack before heading out, an apple, to see if that would help matters a bit. Usually I run on an empty stomach. Regardless, it was another tough run, and on top of that, my knee started acting up again. The gods have apparently spoken, and I am taking the hint: at least a week off from running, and then return working with perhaps an even novicer novice program, like Hal's 5K Training instead of the 10K. I need to work on building up to the 3 mile runs, even though I have already done a few. They're just still a bit too much for me, so I'd like to build some more endurance for shorter distances before I try to go beyond that and train for the 10K. It was just easy to get wrapped up in progress!
For all the success I have had so far with running, the reality is that I am still very heavy and the pounding of the pavement is a lot of stress on my body. I can't compare myself to someone much more lightweight than me, even if we've started running at the same time (which I have been doing to an extent, I admit it). Like it or not, most others have the advantage of having to carry a lot less weight. I want to be careful not to hurt myself, so I am going to keep at it but keep it slow and easy until I lose a bit more weight. How much, I don't know... I'll see how I feel as I go along. But as C. said, "It's not like you're an Olympic runner or something," so taking a week off will not be the end of the world. I will just give my body a chance to catch up with itself.
I had a good eating day yesterday, after having a weird slight binge on Sunday evening with a whole bag of marshmallows, of all things, and having it show viciously on the scale the next day. This morning it was back down again, and I still think I can see 305 by the end of the week if I stay focused. That is my main goal for now. And I still have three weeks to try to get into the 200s for a secondary goal, which would be great.
Anyway, I don't know. It's been a rough past few days overall. I'm worried a lot about my mom and stepdad mostly... his illness is right there beneath the surface at all times in my mind, and it's definitely taking a toll.
I'm still here, which is in itself an accomplishment. It's true. After six months of life-changing activity, I am still here and still committed to achieving my goals. Monday was my six monthiversary, btw! It hasn't always been easy, but I have come a long way and can't wait to see what the next six months will bring. I already mapped out what I would like see six months from now, in this post -- I was so excited about it I jumped the gun a bit. I set a weight goal that is attainable by losing just 1.5 pounds a week, which is just about what I have been averaging, but I plan to be happy no matter how much weight I lose by then, as long as I lose something!
Many thanks to those of you who responded to my last post concerning taking a break from running for a week. Just what I needed to hear, some confirmation that my feelings were valid and even wise! Well, I did end up trying a run yesterday morning anyway, and while I did complete the prescribed 1.5 miles, I did have to walk about a third of it. So sluggish! And I had even had a snack before heading out, an apple, to see if that would help matters a bit. Usually I run on an empty stomach. Regardless, it was another tough run, and on top of that, my knee started acting up again. The gods have apparently spoken, and I am taking the hint: at least a week off from running, and then return working with perhaps an even novicer novice program, like Hal's 5K Training instead of the 10K. I need to work on building up to the 3 mile runs, even though I have already done a few. They're just still a bit too much for me, so I'd like to build some more endurance for shorter distances before I try to go beyond that and train for the 10K. It was just easy to get wrapped up in progress!
For all the success I have had so far with running, the reality is that I am still very heavy and the pounding of the pavement is a lot of stress on my body. I can't compare myself to someone much more lightweight than me, even if we've started running at the same time (which I have been doing to an extent, I admit it). Like it or not, most others have the advantage of having to carry a lot less weight. I want to be careful not to hurt myself, so I am going to keep at it but keep it slow and easy until I lose a bit more weight. How much, I don't know... I'll see how I feel as I go along. But as C. said, "It's not like you're an Olympic runner or something," so taking a week off will not be the end of the world. I will just give my body a chance to catch up with itself.
I had a good eating day yesterday, after having a weird slight binge on Sunday evening with a whole bag of marshmallows, of all things, and having it show viciously on the scale the next day. This morning it was back down again, and I still think I can see 305 by the end of the week if I stay focused. That is my main goal for now. And I still have three weeks to try to get into the 200s for a secondary goal, which would be great.
Anyway, I don't know. It's been a rough past few days overall. I'm worried a lot about my mom and stepdad mostly... his illness is right there beneath the surface at all times in my mind, and it's definitely taking a toll.
Monday, July 7, 2008
TGIM!
I hate to say it, but I am glad it's Monday. I need a fresh start.
It was an odd weekend, mostly good, but I am exhausted again and glad to have some structure in my day.
My weight has pretty much held steady. I was hoping to see a dip to 305, but no such luck yet. Perhaps this week! Running has been really, really difficult for some reason. I'm not sure what is going on, but maybe I am just worrying too much. So, Friday was a rest day, and Saturday a 30-minute walk was on the schedule but I did three and a half hours of gardening and yard work instead, i.e. yanking miles of creeping Charlie and other invasive species out of the jungle garden, trimming bushes, and generally tidying things up. I must have sweated about 3 gallons' worth and had nothing left after that. On Sunday, I was in no shape to, and I got a late (9am) start on my scheduled three mile run. I thought there was no way I would be able to make it through, but I tried anyway since a lot times what happens is that those days are always the most successful. Not this time! I barely made it a half mile before I had to walk, and I only covered about 1.5 miles total, about half and half running/walking. It was so disappointing, but what can you do? It's not always going to be great out there, I know.
Today, thankfully is another rest day, which I really need. In fact, I have been considering taking a week off from running, if only to have some relief from the low-grade pain I've been living with since I ran the 5K. I can't seem to shake it totally, and it kind of sucks always walking around trying to ignore it. Or is that what you have to do as someone "in training" as I consider myself? Does everyone feel soreness all the time?
Sorry to sound like a baby about this. I'm just not sure if I should continue on with my program, scale back, or just rest for a week. Tomorrow's run is a 1.5-miler, and I may try it just to see if it goes any better... maybe I will just stay at 1.5-2 miles for a couple weeks before I continue with Spring Training. The 3 mile runs really take a lot out of me at this point.
I guess I am discovering that, much like adjusting to a new eating plan, you have to tweak things a bit as you go along, and figure out how much you can handle at a given time. It's such a delicate balance, though. On one hand, I want to challenge myself and not rest on my laurels; on the other, I don't want to take on too much, too soon and end up quitting because it was too hard. It is hard to pull back a little, especially when you're blogging and make your plans public and accountable to so many people, but the reality is that if I push too hard, I'm going to either hurt myself or get discouraged, or both.
So that's where I am at today. Feeling weary and a little down, but still willing to figure out how I can move forward to the next level, and still wanting desperately to reach my goals. Ultimately, that's the most important thing, isn't it?
It was an odd weekend, mostly good, but I am exhausted again and glad to have some structure in my day.
My weight has pretty much held steady. I was hoping to see a dip to 305, but no such luck yet. Perhaps this week! Running has been really, really difficult for some reason. I'm not sure what is going on, but maybe I am just worrying too much. So, Friday was a rest day, and Saturday a 30-minute walk was on the schedule but I did three and a half hours of gardening and yard work instead, i.e. yanking miles of creeping Charlie and other invasive species out of the jungle garden, trimming bushes, and generally tidying things up. I must have sweated about 3 gallons' worth and had nothing left after that. On Sunday, I was in no shape to, and I got a late (9am) start on my scheduled three mile run. I thought there was no way I would be able to make it through, but I tried anyway since a lot times what happens is that those days are always the most successful. Not this time! I barely made it a half mile before I had to walk, and I only covered about 1.5 miles total, about half and half running/walking. It was so disappointing, but what can you do? It's not always going to be great out there, I know.
Today, thankfully is another rest day, which I really need. In fact, I have been considering taking a week off from running, if only to have some relief from the low-grade pain I've been living with since I ran the 5K. I can't seem to shake it totally, and it kind of sucks always walking around trying to ignore it. Or is that what you have to do as someone "in training" as I consider myself? Does everyone feel soreness all the time?
Sorry to sound like a baby about this. I'm just not sure if I should continue on with my program, scale back, or just rest for a week. Tomorrow's run is a 1.5-miler, and I may try it just to see if it goes any better... maybe I will just stay at 1.5-2 miles for a couple weeks before I continue with Spring Training. The 3 mile runs really take a lot out of me at this point.
I guess I am discovering that, much like adjusting to a new eating plan, you have to tweak things a bit as you go along, and figure out how much you can handle at a given time. It's such a delicate balance, though. On one hand, I want to challenge myself and not rest on my laurels; on the other, I don't want to take on too much, too soon and end up quitting because it was too hard. It is hard to pull back a little, especially when you're blogging and make your plans public and accountable to so many people, but the reality is that if I push too hard, I'm going to either hurt myself or get discouraged, or both.
So that's where I am at today. Feeling weary and a little down, but still willing to figure out how I can move forward to the next level, and still wanting desperately to reach my goals. Ultimately, that's the most important thing, isn't it?
Thursday, July 3, 2008
It's Time for Success
Yes, I have decided: it's time for success.
This morning I weighed in at 306 pounds even, so yesterday's weigh was not a fluke! Hooray! I am just inching my way to sub-300... July is the month! (Not to focus on the scale, but... this is a crucial time!)
Also this morning I successfully completed another run on my new program, this time another 1.5 miles. Much easier than Tuesday's run, but still tough. It's funny... before I ran the 5K race last week running seemed like it was getting easier, but since then it's getting harder somehow! Every run is a struggle. It must get easier at some point, right? This morning one of the thoughts that crossed my mind was... Why exactly am I doing this? Not to get all existential on you, but really! It's a good question that I thought I answered for myself many times already, but now those reasons seem simplistic. Like, there's got to be something bigger about this, kind of like pondering existence itself! Why am I here? Because I am. Why do I run? Because I can? That said, I am really thankful for the "rest day" that is on the schedule for tomorrow, and the 30-minute walk that's on for Saturday. Hopefully it will get me rested and ready for another 3 miler on Sunday! At least today's run saw my speed go back up a little bit, so that's good. Moving along.
While I was out doing some warm-up walking, I saw one of my neighbors out with her dog. She yelled to me, "Looking good! I can really tell a difference!" This is a neighbor whom I have never actually met before, so it was nice to shake hands and get a name (Mary). It also made me feel really good that people who only ever see me from across the street notice my progress. That's pretty cool.
Motivation, motivation -- in real life and virtually (all you who read this and comment make me feel the same way!) -- keeps the momentum, makes it all worthwhile.
PS -- My stepdad is feeling better, and should be headed home today. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, he'll continue to need them!
This morning I weighed in at 306 pounds even, so yesterday's weigh was not a fluke! Hooray! I am just inching my way to sub-300... July is the month! (Not to focus on the scale, but... this is a crucial time!)
Also this morning I successfully completed another run on my new program, this time another 1.5 miles. Much easier than Tuesday's run, but still tough. It's funny... before I ran the 5K race last week running seemed like it was getting easier, but since then it's getting harder somehow! Every run is a struggle. It must get easier at some point, right? This morning one of the thoughts that crossed my mind was... Why exactly am I doing this? Not to get all existential on you, but really! It's a good question that I thought I answered for myself many times already, but now those reasons seem simplistic. Like, there's got to be something bigger about this, kind of like pondering existence itself! Why am I here? Because I am. Why do I run? Because I can? That said, I am really thankful for the "rest day" that is on the schedule for tomorrow, and the 30-minute walk that's on for Saturday. Hopefully it will get me rested and ready for another 3 miler on Sunday! At least today's run saw my speed go back up a little bit, so that's good. Moving along.
While I was out doing some warm-up walking, I saw one of my neighbors out with her dog. She yelled to me, "Looking good! I can really tell a difference!" This is a neighbor whom I have never actually met before, so it was nice to shake hands and get a name (Mary). It also made me feel really good that people who only ever see me from across the street notice my progress. That's pretty cool.
Motivation, motivation -- in real life and virtually (all you who read this and comment make me feel the same way!) -- keeps the momentum, makes it all worthwhile.
PS -- My stepdad is feeling better, and should be headed home today. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, he'll continue to need them!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
307, Begone! Plus thoughts on being slow
Weight: 306.2
Total Weight loss: 43.8 pounds
I know I should wait to totally celebrate until it's been a few days under 307, but hot damn! I finally broke it! I think eating clean the past two days and my new training schedule are really helping. I just plain feel better, too, except for the usual aches from running.
Today's run was a 3-miler. I was apprehensive about it since my runs since the 5K race have been difficult, including the 1.5 mile one yesterday. But, I trudged on through and finished it without walking! And, I added on just enough for it to qualify as a 5K, so... maybe it could count for the Wee Little Virtual 5K? (Ha ha, I am still hung up on that!). It took me an hour on the nose to finish, for those of you keeping score. Damn, I run slow.
I had this whole conversation in my head about how slow I am, how I thought it might be good to start an official "slow running" movement, but also how maybe I should just give it up and stick with walking. Hell no! Slow or not, I am running. It's what I love to do. My movements are running movements; in fact, if I entered a race as a walker I would be disqualified because of that. I am obviously still pretty self-conscious of my pace. I kept thinking about how all my readers, if they saw me running, would be like, "Hey! That's not running! That's... I don't know what!" I wonder if I wrongly claim the title of Runner. C. says I am a jogger, but no, I firmly believe that what I do is running. I am serious about improving, I have a training schedule, and I run races. Please don't belittle what I do by saying that I jog, simply because I am slow.
Michelle asked yesterday if I am treating myself to something special to celebrate my six month commitment. The answer is an emphatic YES! I subscribed to two running magazines and bought a couple books on the subject as well. Surely a casual jogger would never do that? Last week I bought a copy of Runner's World and was instantly hooked. I admit it, I am becoming obsessed with running. I hope those of you non-running readers aren't getting fed up with my new focus, but I must say it again: I don't think I would have stayed with this like I have if I hadn't discovered running. It really keeps me going, as well as takes away the focus from my actual weight loss, which, as many of you know, can be really frustrating and/or obsessing in not the most healthy way. I have new reasons to eat more healthfully: to fuel my runs, and to make my body more efficient for the task. It's nifty, if you ask me.
I suppose it could be argued that I have shifted my sometimes obsessive nature from one area (weight loss) to another (running), so why is it any better? Well, I do think it is healthier and more conducive to a better mind-set overall. I'm finding it easier to love my body now that I have challenged it the way I have, now that it has proven itself to me that it is so much more than a mere lump of flesh. I can now start to see it for what it is: a configuration of active molecules that I am making use of!
Today's achievements are bittersweet. My stepdad took a turn for the worse recently and is back in the hospital. Would you all kindly think some good thoughts/prayers for him? I would really appreciate it.
Total Weight loss: 43.8 pounds
I know I should wait to totally celebrate until it's been a few days under 307, but hot damn! I finally broke it! I think eating clean the past two days and my new training schedule are really helping. I just plain feel better, too, except for the usual aches from running.
Today's run was a 3-miler. I was apprehensive about it since my runs since the 5K race have been difficult, including the 1.5 mile one yesterday. But, I trudged on through and finished it without walking! And, I added on just enough for it to qualify as a 5K, so... maybe it could count for the Wee Little Virtual 5K? (Ha ha, I am still hung up on that!). It took me an hour on the nose to finish, for those of you keeping score. Damn, I run slow.
I had this whole conversation in my head about how slow I am, how I thought it might be good to start an official "slow running" movement, but also how maybe I should just give it up and stick with walking. Hell no! Slow or not, I am running. It's what I love to do. My movements are running movements; in fact, if I entered a race as a walker I would be disqualified because of that. I am obviously still pretty self-conscious of my pace. I kept thinking about how all my readers, if they saw me running, would be like, "Hey! That's not running! That's... I don't know what!" I wonder if I wrongly claim the title of Runner. C. says I am a jogger, but no, I firmly believe that what I do is running. I am serious about improving, I have a training schedule, and I run races. Please don't belittle what I do by saying that I jog, simply because I am slow.
Michelle asked yesterday if I am treating myself to something special to celebrate my six month commitment. The answer is an emphatic YES! I subscribed to two running magazines and bought a couple books on the subject as well. Surely a casual jogger would never do that? Last week I bought a copy of Runner's World and was instantly hooked. I admit it, I am becoming obsessed with running. I hope those of you non-running readers aren't getting fed up with my new focus, but I must say it again: I don't think I would have stayed with this like I have if I hadn't discovered running. It really keeps me going, as well as takes away the focus from my actual weight loss, which, as many of you know, can be really frustrating and/or obsessing in not the most healthy way. I have new reasons to eat more healthfully: to fuel my runs, and to make my body more efficient for the task. It's nifty, if you ask me.
I suppose it could be argued that I have shifted my sometimes obsessive nature from one area (weight loss) to another (running), so why is it any better? Well, I do think it is healthier and more conducive to a better mind-set overall. I'm finding it easier to love my body now that I have challenged it the way I have, now that it has proven itself to me that it is so much more than a mere lump of flesh. I can now start to see it for what it is: a configuration of active molecules that I am making use of!
Today's achievements are bittersweet. My stepdad took a turn for the worse recently and is back in the hospital. Would you all kindly think some good thoughts/prayers for him? I would really appreciate it.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
HYC Checkin-In: W1D1 of Spring Training
Weight: 308
Total Weight loss: 42 pounds
It's Tuesday again already? The weeks seem to be zipping by. Unfortunately, my weight hasn't been zipping off lately. I was really thinking that I'd see a nice loss this morning, but instead a very slight gain (pretty much a maintain, half pound). Well, who knows? Maybe it will happen tomorrow, or the next day. I'm bound to see to movement again soon. After all, one day of eating clean again won't show instant results, I know that. ;)
I did as promised, and began my Spring Training this morning according to Hal Higdon's plan. The first run was just 1.5 miles, which yesterday I declared as "easy"; however I had another tough run despite the shorter distance. The whole time I didn't feel like I would make the distance, and my pace was back up (down?) over 19 minutes. SLOWer than even my usual. It's OK. Hal says that it doesn't matter how fast you go or even whether you decide to walk some or even all of a particular run. I did consider walking at some points but just couldn't let myself do it, even though there is nothing wrong with it... it's a rather silly point of pride, I guess. I should probably get over it.
Anyway. With July comes my official six-month mark (July 7th, to be exact). I feel a sense of renewal to my commitment and look forward to what the next six months will bring. Let's fast forward to January 2009, which will be my year anniversary, and speculate about what I might be like by then. I hope to:
• Weigh somewhere between 250 and 270 pounds
• Be able to run 10K comfortably, have my "easy" runs be 5Ks
• Wear pants size 20-22, depending on brand (based on what I wore when I last weighed the above amount)
• Have a normal "bad" cholesterol level (the "good" levels are good at this point)
And, by my 39th birthday (June 2009), I would like to:
• Weigh no more than 229 pounds (my highest weight in college when I thought I was REALLY fat, ha ha!)
• Feel confident in entering the Buffalo half-marathon (late May)
• Be able to shop in "regular" clothes stores for some things (pants size 18?)
*sigh* I just love setting goals. I'm trying really hard to visualize all these things -- if you write things down, you are more likely to do them, and if you can "see" yourself doing them, all the better. So I hear. Just think, someday in the not-so-far future, I will look back and laugh at my running struggles, and not being able to get below 307!
Where do you see yourself in the future?
Total Weight loss: 42 pounds
It's Tuesday again already? The weeks seem to be zipping by. Unfortunately, my weight hasn't been zipping off lately. I was really thinking that I'd see a nice loss this morning, but instead a very slight gain (pretty much a maintain, half pound). Well, who knows? Maybe it will happen tomorrow, or the next day. I'm bound to see to movement again soon. After all, one day of eating clean again won't show instant results, I know that. ;)
I did as promised, and began my Spring Training this morning according to Hal Higdon's plan. The first run was just 1.5 miles, which yesterday I declared as "easy"; however I had another tough run despite the shorter distance. The whole time I didn't feel like I would make the distance, and my pace was back up (down?) over 19 minutes. SLOWer than even my usual. It's OK. Hal says that it doesn't matter how fast you go or even whether you decide to walk some or even all of a particular run. I did consider walking at some points but just couldn't let myself do it, even though there is nothing wrong with it... it's a rather silly point of pride, I guess. I should probably get over it.
Anyway. With July comes my official six-month mark (July 7th, to be exact). I feel a sense of renewal to my commitment and look forward to what the next six months will bring. Let's fast forward to January 2009, which will be my year anniversary, and speculate about what I might be like by then. I hope to:
• Weigh somewhere between 250 and 270 pounds
• Be able to run 10K comfortably, have my "easy" runs be 5Ks
• Wear pants size 20-22, depending on brand (based on what I wore when I last weighed the above amount)
• Have a normal "bad" cholesterol level (the "good" levels are good at this point)
And, by my 39th birthday (June 2009), I would like to:
• Weigh no more than 229 pounds (my highest weight in college when I thought I was REALLY fat, ha ha!)
• Feel confident in entering the Buffalo half-marathon (late May)
• Be able to shop in "regular" clothes stores for some things (pants size 18?)
*sigh* I just love setting goals. I'm trying really hard to visualize all these things -- if you write things down, you are more likely to do them, and if you can "see" yourself doing them, all the better. So I hear. Just think, someday in the not-so-far future, I will look back and laugh at my running struggles, and not being able to get below 307!
Where do you see yourself in the future?
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