Wednesday, July 2, 2008

307, Begone! Plus thoughts on being slow

Weight: 306.2
Total Weight loss: 43.8 pounds

I know I should wait to totally celebrate until it's been a few days under 307, but hot damn! I finally broke it! I think eating clean the past two days and my new training schedule are really helping. I just plain feel better, too, except for the usual aches from running.

Today's run was a 3-miler. I was apprehensive about it since my runs since the 5K race have been difficult, including the 1.5 mile one yesterday. But, I trudged on through and finished it without walking! And, I added on just enough for it to qualify as a 5K, so... maybe it could count for the Wee Little Virtual 5K? (Ha ha, I am still hung up on that!). It took me an hour on the nose to finish, for those of you keeping score. Damn, I run slow.

I had this whole conversation in my head about how slow I am, how I thought it might be good to start an official "slow running" movement, but also how maybe I should just give it up and stick with walking. Hell no! Slow or not, I am running. It's what I love to do. My movements are running movements; in fact, if I entered a race as a walker I would be disqualified because of that. I am obviously still pretty self-conscious of my pace. I kept thinking about how all my readers, if they saw me running, would be like, "Hey! That's not running! That's... I don't know what!" I wonder if I wrongly claim the title of Runner. C. says I am a jogger, but no, I firmly believe that what I do is running. I am serious about improving, I have a training schedule, and I run races. Please don't belittle what I do by saying that I jog, simply because I am slow.

Michelle asked yesterday if I am treating myself to something special to celebrate my six month commitment. The answer is an emphatic YES! I subscribed to two running magazines and bought a couple books on the subject as well. Surely a casual jogger would never do that? Last week I bought a copy of Runner's World and was instantly hooked. I admit it, I am becoming obsessed with running. I hope those of you non-running readers aren't getting fed up with my new focus, but I must say it again: I don't think I would have stayed with this like I have if I hadn't discovered running. It really keeps me going, as well as takes away the focus from my actual weight loss, which, as many of you know, can be really frustrating and/or obsessing in not the most healthy way. I have new reasons to eat more healthfully: to fuel my runs, and to make my body more efficient for the task. It's nifty, if you ask me.

I suppose it could be argued that I have shifted my sometimes obsessive nature from one area (weight loss) to another (running), so why is it any better? Well, I do think it is healthier and more conducive to a better mind-set overall. I'm finding it easier to love my body now that I have challenged it the way I have, now that it has proven itself to me that it is so much more than a mere lump of flesh. I can now start to see it for what it is: a configuration of active molecules that I am making use of!

Today's achievements are bittersweet. My stepdad took a turn for the worse recently and is back in the hospital. Would you all kindly think some good thoughts/prayers for him? I would really appreciate it.

4 comments:

Michelle said...

Sorry to hear about your stepdad. I hope things improve.

About your shifting your obsession. I think running is a totally healthy thing to obsess about. Much better than some number on the scale. The scale is such an evil bitch sometimes and if I think too much about what she thinks I get depressed. Running is so much more tangible, real, and with nothing but positive benefits. I'm so glad you found something you love this much.

I think you should let the person doing the WeeLittle5k that you finished it. It totally counts! By the way, it doesn't matter how fast or slow you run, the point is you're running. You are running and facing incredible challenges and overcoming them. C is wrong about the jogging thing. "Jogging" is defined as "to run at a leisurely, slow pace, esp. as an outdoor exercise". Tell C to look at Dictionary.com

You are running, just slowly :) Kind of like me. And a lot of other people that are starting out. Will we ever run faster? Who knows, but this is one of those things that is about the journey, not the destination.

weelittleme said...

ah dude! You are definitely RUNNING! I ran 5K today too (We are spring training twins). I'm slow too but it still feels so damn good.

I can totally count today's run if you want but just so you know, I considered the real live 5K you did like a day before the V5K weekend to be your 5K!! You ran the distance you just did it before everyone else! I posted your race story up too because I thought it was one of the most inspirational.

Being sort of behind the 8 ball with this weight thing means that we have to battle so much to get fit. We deserve credit for that. You shouldn't have to think about what people might be thinking about your running but you do. Thing is that there are lots of otherwise "fit" looking people out there that aren't putting the hard work in like you are and you will get there in the end as a result. And beside, it feels so great doesn't it!

I skipped wed and did that run today and so I'm going to do my 1.5 mile on the weekend along with the second 5K of the week. Damn that is a lot of running. We rock

Boilergrad1993 said...

First of call, congrats for breaking the 306 barrier!! It is very frustrating when you get stuck and no matter what you do that scale won't budge. And no matter what your pace, if in your mind and body you FEEL like you are running, then that's what you're doing!! You should be extremely proud of yourself. I have friends that are a size 6 that couldn't run 1/2 of a mile, so you just hold on to all you've accomplished in the last few months, relish in it and keep moving forward. Finally, thoughts and prayers for your stepdad.

battyhelen said...

Hi, I've come to you from Running livejournal. You ARE a runner. No question. A runner works to actively improve their skills and to take part in races. A jogger is someone who is looking for something different, scenery, chattery and all that stuff. Very valid, but not running.
I just started running in Feb /mar this year, and I am looking to lose weight and get fit as well. You do inspire me, I am struggling to get up to running for 2 miles at the moment, and I run slowly. I AM a runner though, I have agreed to do a 5k next May, that's if I can't manage one before that.
You go girl, inspire me some more!!
battyhelen