Monday, November 10, 2008


Weight: 313.2
Total Weight loss: 36.8 pounds

Oh, yikes.

I don't know what's up with me lately. I keep making these big declarations about how I need to get back on track, how I really want to lose more weight, how scared I am to be backsliding so much in the past month, yet it's not getting any better.

This really, really sucks. I want to say that I don't know what to do, even though I clearly do since I have done it before! I can blame it on PMS, or being depressed about my stepfather's death, but the reality is that I have been letting my compulsive overeating impulses take over again, full stop.

Look, I really don't want to have a repeat performance of so many times before. Especially the last time I lost weight. It's starting to become a mirror image of that, and I don't want that to happen! I want to be successful at this. I want to do good for myself.

The one saving grace in all this is that I have continued with my regular exercising, even though that has been a bit rough, too. On Saturday I went out for a very slow walk, slow only because my shins were really bothering me again. So frustrating to want to do one thing and have your body allow another. Yesterday we raked leaves for about a half hour, and I am feeling it this morning -- lots of muscles who have been neglected for too long! I took a break this morning from walking with the hopes that tomorrow's workout will be back to normal. I desperately need it to be. Another good habit I've been keeping up (at least on weekdays) is water intake -- I've been averaging 100 oz. a day, and I will continue that.

This morning I packed my lunch, some of the pumpkin black bean soup I made over the weekend, and a nice salad. I'm having tea and yogurt for breakfast. I'm going to track again this week and be brutally honest with myself.

So now my goal is simple: to get back down in my "safe" zone (between 300-305) by Thanksgiving, and stay there -- even after the holiday! That gives me 2-1/2 weeks to lose almost ten pounds, which I know sounds drastic, but given that the weight came on so quickly, I have a feeling it will come off quickly as well, assuming that I stick to plan diligently. That's what's been missing from my campaign: Diligence.

Thanks again for the continued, wonderful, supportive comments. Please, in the next couple weeks especially -- keep 'em coming! It helps so much to keep my head on straight and is a major reason why I am not crying about this. It's because you help me to continue to believe that I can do this, no matter how many setbacks I have.


Elaine said...


We're all here cheering you on. :)

Claire said...


Maybe as well as focussing what you eat it'd help to look at why. I've been trying 'Thought Records' when I want to eat and they really help identify the thoughts behind my eating...and when I want to eat but am not remotely hungry!

I've realized my addictive eating monster will say pretty much anything to get me to eat. But actually noticing when it does is the first battle! Not eating when it does is the second!

It's maybe easier for me cos I'm on a food replacement diet so I'm not eating all the time - except for a tiny tea.

I started at 303 pounds and with calorie counting now Cambridge Diet am now 235.

Hi, by the way, have just read through your blog and am now answering like I know you! Just wanted to post something that might help.

Megan said...

I don't comment often, but I'm here and I wish you well.

Ten pounds in two weeks is unrealistic, my dear. You can lose four pounds in two weeks if you work really hard at it, but I don't want you to set yourself up for something that's next to impossible to achieve.

You have already done something amazing: you've lost 10% of your body weight, and you've basically maintained that loss. You're already a superstar.

For me, counting calories was the key. And Fresca. Man, I love Fresca. It really, really helped.

Hugs from a stranger.

Anonymous said...

after a week of being sick, this week I'm going to be battling my way back down under 300. I'm so discouraged about now...

and I know it's going to be a real struggle, but am darn well going to try.

Bella said...

I'm pulling for you.

I had my own meltdown beginning on Wednesday, but I finally snapped out of it on Saturday evening.

It sounds like you're on the right track today, food-wise, so I'm wishing you good luck for the rest of the week.

Boilergrad1993 said...
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